This evening found our kitchen trash can completely overflowing. Typical. Today was trash day- and we tend to take the trash out after they have already collected. But anyway- I went to toss the bag into the outside cans. As I was approaching the can I came face to face with IT. IT is the nasty little rabid squirrel that has taken up residence in our alley. He jumped out of the can and sat on the rim and just stared me down. I literally shit myself lifeless. I practically blew my sphincter out my backside like of one those unrolling paper streamers you get at children's parties. And then he tore across the driveway with a hunk of trash and was gone.
As if that wasn’t the most exciting part of my day- it get’s better. I had to run some errands after work and took the kids with me. We did the usual Dollar Store run, quick swing threw Swiss Farms and a stop off at BJ’s. As we were walking back to the car I noticed that JoJo was chewing some gum. Gum that I didn't give him. Gum that he picked up off the parking lot and decided to chew on!! I tore it out of his mouth like a psycho of course. It even had little pieces of gravel in it from the ground. He then proceeded to shriek at that ungodly high pitch as I dragged his little butt back to the car. He kisses his mother with that mouth!
Sometimes I wonder how I got the kids I did. I’m sure my mother would tell you that I was a model child and was never a bother or a nuisance. Ummmm- yeah!