O.K. Corral

In my house as a child, there was no discussion about food, are you kidding? You ate what was put in front of you; you ate everything on your plate; and you never, ever complained. Because any child who complained or refused to eat everything on their plate go their ass beat and sent to bed, hungry. Yep...it's not the number of mouths to feed; it's the one who's howling, getting their ass paddled at the kitchen table. And, naturally, everyone else just keeps eating, pretending not to notice the huge distraction blowing snot at the other end of the table.

And so that brings me to my darling sweet JoJo who challenged me to a dual last night. Well...not so much a dual, but a flat out standoff. Allie started to join in, but quickly changed her mind and ate her dinner when she saw how serious I was. So JoJo sassed me and told me that dinner was "Gross", and went so far as to shove his plate across the table. Gross??? I pride myself on my dinners- it's not just Ramen noodles and Spaghetti O's in my house! So, it was just your basic bratty kid behavior, right? So I ordered him to sit there at the table until he finished his dinner, which of course he refused to do.
So he sat at the table. And he sat. And he sat. From time to time, I checked on his progress. At one point I even thought I was being nice by reheating the plate of dinner. Naturally, there was no progress because he had decided that he would rather spend the rest of his life at the table then to eat his dinner. It was a true Old West standoff at the OK Corral. Billy the Kid and Jesse James staring each other down. Neither refusing to budge. Mind you- this is a three year old! And inside I just kept telling myself that I can't loose to a stinkin three year old!

Hours later- he's still sitting at the table, so I asked him one last time if he was going to eat his dinner. "No, gross" was his reply and then he threw himself on the table. Yeah- not really impressed with the performance. And because I'm completely immature and just as bratty as a three year old- I made him sit there some more! I just couldn't lose. I couldn't. It was like a game of battleship and I was determined to sink him. My entire self worth depended on it!!!

In the end- he fell asleep at the frickin table! He still didn't eat one bite of his dinner. I know inside he thinks he won- but really- I claim victory. He eventually gave up his will to fight and let sleep take over. Wussy!!!!